- Phyllis Diller as Nora Mills
- Lawrence Tierney as Jack Mills
- Anita Dangler as Mrs. Nugent
- Tanya Fenmore as Mary Jane
- Charlotte von Vogt as Miss Brinkly
- Carolyn Seymour as Ayesha Kandesha
- John Marzilli as Gad
Two fraudulent fortune tellers try to earn $50,000 by exorcising a possessed girl named Mary Jane.
Mrs. Nugent leads two occult students, Nora and Jack, into the bedroom of her grand daughter. The two students watch as Mrs. Nugent does some small tasks in the room, the last being opening the curtains to let light in. Mrs. Nugent then approaches the bed.Mrs. Nugent asks her daughter, who is not seen by the camera yet, if she is doing any better. Mary Jane answers by growling and making animal noises, much to the surprise of Nora and Jack. Mrs. Nugent tries to make Mary Jane more comfortable, resulting in her scolding Mary Jane when Mary Jane attempts to bite her. Mary Jane then attempts to strangle Mrs. Nugent with her own pearls. Throughout, Mrs. Nugent seems good natured, including when she offers Mary Jane some chicken soup and Mary Jane chews up the spoon used to eat the soup.
When Mrs. Nugent chastises Mary Jane for wasting good chicken soup, Mary Jane is finally shown on camera. She looks like a normal girl. In a slightly gruffer voice than expected, the girl asserts that she is not Mary Jane. She claims her name is Aisha Candisha and she wants to eat men's souls, not chicken soup.
Nora confirms to a very concerned Jack that they are witnessing an actual possession. While Jack asserts that he knows the girl is posessed, he also says that she needs their help. Nora is not so agreeable, however, pointing out that she and Jack do not know anything about exorcisms. Jack tells Nora that even if she has no compassion for the child, Nora should consider the $50,000 they are being offered for doing the exorcism.
Mrs. Nugent simply claims that Mary Jane is being difficult and that she cannot do anything for her. Nora, however, insists that Mary Jane is not being difficult and that she is, in fact, possessed by a demon. Mrs. Nugent mentions that no one has been able to help Mary Jane, in hopes that Nora and Jack will do the job. Nora begins to tell Mrs. Nugent there is no way they can help, but she is interupted by Jack who completes the sentence by saying there is no way they will let her down.Against Nora's incredulous attitude, Jack begins to question Mrs. Nugent, claiming they need all of the facts. He first asks if there is any history of demon possession in the family. Mrs. Nugent tells Jack that Mary's Jane's deceased parents were fine, but that Mary Jane has an 92 year old uncle in Downer's Grove, Illinois, that believes he is General Patton and believes his room in the rest home is a Sherman Tank. To Mrs. Nugent's knowledge, she claims there have not been any more demons in the family.
Jack approaches Aisha/Mary Jane, addressing her as "Demon" and commanding her to speak. He asks who she is and why she torments Mary Jane. Mary Jane claims to be "She who devours men." She pulls her blanket up and shows Nora and Jack that she has goat's feet. She says that for 12,000 years men have been her slaves and she has sent them into eternal fire. Jack demands that Aisha set Mary Jane free, but she just laughs and says that Mary Jane belongs to her now. When Jack once again demands that Aisha leave, Aisha threatens to eat his heart for dinner if he messes with her.
The three adults move away from the bed. Jack tells Mrs. Nugent that he and Nora have to study further since her case is a very difficult one. Nora, however, informs Mrs. Nugent that she and her husband Jack are fortune tellers and do not do exorcisms. Jack inisists that even though they haven't done an exorcism before, they will definitely do Mary Jane's. Nora then contradicts Jack again, saying they will consider taking on the job but first must give it a lot of thought.
Mrs. Nugent begs Nora and Jack to help her out. She claims that Mary Jane will be damned if Nora and Jack do not help her. Nora rejects this, claiming that Mary Jane is already damned.
Nora is in her tea room, doing a fortune reading for a customer. The customer is unimpressed and claims that Nora's reading is incorrect and that she can argue with destiny since she is paying the five dollar fortune telling fee. The customer opens the door to leave and sees Jack carrying a pig. She calls the pig disgusting and leaves.Nora immediately assumes that Jack is carrying a pig because of the exorcism. Jack tells Nora that he has found on incantation that will remove the demon from Mary Jane and put it inside the pig. Jack thinks they will achieve financial security if they exoricise Mary Jane. Nora, on the other hand, is fed up with the whole fortune telling business and wishes they would have started up a beauty parlor instead. When Nora complains again about the lack of business they get as fortune tellers, Jack insists that this is the very reason he wants to do the exorcism. He asks an exasperated Nora to have faith in him.
Nora and Jack enter Mary Jane's bedroom. Jack is carrying the pig and Nora is carrying a large pentacle. Jack instructs Nora to place it on the bed, next to Aisha's goat legs, but Nora tells him to do it. When Jack instructs Nora to draw the pentacle on Aisha/Mary Jane's forehead, she tells him to do it. Jack places the pig onto the large pentacle and grabs a black marker.
As Jack approaches Aisha/Mary Jane, Aisha tells him to remove the foul beast (the pig) from her presence. She also tells Jack to come no closer. When Jack does not listen, Mary Jane lifts her hands up and wind begins to blow in the room. Both Nora and Jack begin to look concerned. Mrs. Nugent is bringing a plate to the room, but stops when she hears all of the commotion. She asks if she can come in, but Nora and Jack have been knocked out. Aisha/Mary Jane laughs.
Jack is sitting in the tea room with a bandage on his head, reading a book. Nora walks in with her arm in a sling. She looks surprised when she sees Jack reading and asks him if he is still trying to do the exorcism. Jack claims they only lost one battle and not the war. Nora tells Jack to be reasonable and to go and find some groups for them to do tarot readings for so they can recoup the money they lost in the emergency room treatment.
In Jack's book, there is listed a demon called Gad who is the leader of all other demons in the underworld. Jack tells Nora that they should summon Gad and have him command Aisha to leave Mary Jane's body. Nora informs Jack that she is out of the exorcism business and if he wants help he will have to advertise for a new assistant.
Jack decides that he will go ahead and place an ad for a new assistant. He calls up the Penny Saver Press and asks to take out an ad. When he tries to place an ad for an exorcism assistant at a price of $5000, Nora instructs Jack to hang up the phone. Nora takes the phone away from Jack and has him cancel the ad.
Mrs. Nugent almost hesitantly enters Mary Jane's room. Aisha/Mary Jane is feeling the dress of one of three dolls by her bed. When Mrs. Nugent says she is happy that Mary Jane is playing with her dolls again, Aisha/Mary Jane gets angry, snaps her fingers and makes the heads of her dolls start spinning around. Mrs. Nugent comments that this action is very original and creative.Nora and Jack enter the room with Jack carrying a box. Mrs. Nugent approaches them and asks if she can help. He instructs Mrs. Nugent and Nora to set candles around the room, which they proceed to do. Aisha/Mary Jane asks Jack what he is doing and Jack claims that Aisha/Mary Jane has met her match and that her posessing days are over. Nora warns Jack to not anger the girl since she already defeated him once.
Jack prepares for the exorcism. He locks the bedroom door and turns out the light. Nora asks Jack if he is sure he has the spell down right and Jack insists that he does. Jack performs this incantation:
Heed the call of your lord and master
That comes to command you.
There is a spark in the room and smoke wafts up from the floor. A red light appears and a deep voice demands to know who has called him.
Nora is immediately panicked, but Jack's confidence grows. He tells Nora and Mrs. Nugent that he is going to bend Gad to his will. Gad, however, informs them that he will destroy them. The light turns out and Nora cries out to Jack. Without light, Jack is unable to finish the spell. He asks for a lighter. The light, however, comes back on and Gad is not to be seen.
Jack is convinced that Gad has left, but that the spell has showed promise. He tells Mrs, Nugent that the next time they try the spell, it will work.
Mary Jane starts moving and stretching in the bed. She makes some grumbling noises. Mary Jane then speaks in Gad's voice, liking the new body but claiming it is a bit too short. While Mrs. Nugent tries to see if this new personality is Mary Jane, it confirms that it is Gad and Gad is now in possesion of Mary Jane's body. When Jack asks what happened to Aisha, Gad informs him that Aisha is still there and she awaits Gad's command.
Aisha, while confirming that she is indeed in the body, makes it clear that she awaits no one. Aisha and Gad begin arguing over the body, Aisha continually insulting Gad. Aisha claims that she is the queen of seductresses and there is no room in the body of Mary Jane for them both. She commands Gad to leave since she had the body first.
Mrs. Nugent calls for Mary Jane and the demons argue.
ACT VIEditBack at the Tea Room, Jack enters the main room, lifting dumbells. When Nora asks him what he is doing, Jack tells her he is dedicating all of his strength to rid his client of her supernatural tormentors. Nora brings Jack some water and he tells an incredulous Nora that he is going to fast for seven days and drink nothing but spring water.
Nora continues to try to convince Jack to give up the exorcism. She tells him he does not have it in him and that the demon is too strong. Jack dismisses her assertions, however. As he leaves the room, an exasperated Nora tosses a tarot card over her shoulder. The card is the Fool and it lands on the floor behind her.
Back in Mary Jane's room, Jack is trying one last attempt to exorcise the demon. Mrs. Nugent asks him if he needs any candles or farm animals, but Jack claims that this attempt will simply be his willpower.
Jack calls out Mary Jane's name. Her body comes out of its rest. Aisha's voice speaks first, asking who has called her. Gad's voice takes over and tells Aisha that no one has called her. He says that Jack was calling for him instead.
Jack begins to cast a new spell, using this incantation:
Demons of Hell,
Heed my spell.
Spirits of night,
Fear my light.
A light shines briefly in the room. Nora is concerned again and tells Jack that he better know what he is doing. Jack assures her that he does.
Aisha speaks and said she has finally had it with the intruders. She tries to knock the lamp at Jack using magic, but Jack holds up his hand and rejects it. He then reads another incantation:
Now is the hour.
Ours is the power.
Gad then begins to speak. He makes a light fixture fly off the wall and towards Jack. Jack, however, holds up his hand and fends off the fixture. Jack demands that Mary Jane's soul be freed. Aisha realizes that Jack is able to fend them both off one on one. She tells Gad to use all of his power, and the two demons work together.
As things in the room begin to move, Nora becomes afraid and moves closer to Jack. As the wind blows Mrs. Nugent around the room, Jack tells Nora he needs her power to fend off both demons. Nora demands Jack to let her go, calling him an idiot. Mrs. Nugent begins to be blown away, and she hangs on to the wall for support.Jack remains steadfast and commands the demons to leave Mary Jane, over and over again. It appears to be working as Mary Jane begins flopping around on the bed, foaming at the mouth. The lights then go out.
When the light comes back on, the room is a mess. Mrs. Nugent is no longer hanging from the wall. Mary Jane, in her own voice, addresses Mrs. Nugent as her grandmother. Happy that Mary Jane is finally back, Mrs, Nugent goes to her. Mrs Nugent tell Mary Jane that she was a little sick and that her room in disheveled due to an earthquake. Mrs. Nugent then points at Jack and Nora, telling Mary Jane that they are the two who helped her.
Upon addressing Jack and Nora, Mrs. Nugent notices that the two have been possessed by Aisha and Gad. Aisha is in possession of Jack and Gad is possessing Nora. The two of them argue as they leave the room.
- The irony in this episode is shown when Nora and Jack admits they are not real psychics. Before the last exorcism attempt, Nora drops the fool card on the floor. The fool card indicates, in some cases, going into a situation without being fully prepared. Therefore the card predicted their future.