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SynopsisEdit

An overweight woman takes drastic measures to lose weight.

CastEdit

  • Sharon Madden as Betsy Cowland
  • Larry Gelman as Elmo Shroud
  • Diana Hale as Landlady
  • John Romo as Deliveryman
  • Catherine Battistone as Telephone Voice
  • Neil Kinsella as Voice Over

PlotEdit

Act I Edit

Telemarketer Betsy Cowland lives a lonely life spending her days annoying others with her cold calls and talking to her many plants while watering them. She is overweight and lets her weight loss attempts fully consume her life; however, she can’t stop herself from eating junk food in occasional binges.

While working one day, Betsy searches the phone book and sees an ad for WeightAway, a guaranteed weight loss product. As she feigns mild interest, her phone rings. Shocked that someone would call her, she picks up and finds out it’s a representative from WeightAway. He wastes no time selling her on a guaranteed weight loss as well as informing her a package is already on the way. He hangs up before she gets a single word in.

Act II Edit

A few days later, a small package is delivered to a suspicious Betsy. She opens it up and finds a note from WeightAway congratulating her on being one of the first customers of the revolutionary product. The product is a hearing aid, and she is instructed to put it in before every meal.

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Date night.

Betsy gets a call from Elmo Shroud, a high school sweetheart of hers who is in town this weekend. He asks her out to dinner; while hesitant, she says yes. Later that night, she puts on her favorite dress but vents frustration (towards her plants) since it is nowtoo small. Elmo, who’s shown to be an average looking guy, comes in and comments on her different looks. They go out for Mexican food, where Betsy talks extensively on the several weight loss methods she has tried — everything from water diet to stapling her ear lobes to suction pants. She has even considered liposuction but finds it to be expensive. This talk unsettles Elmo, but he still finds her attractive regardless. When he leaves to take a phone call, Betsy puts her hearing aid in. Within seconds, she hears gut-wrenching screams all around the restaurant. She slowly starts to realize they are coming from each food item being consumed. Elmo comes back and starts cutting into his enchiladas, which scream bloody murder. Betsy can’t take watching him eat and eventually passes out at her seat.

Elmo brings Betsy home and shows genuine concern for her; she only apologizes for embarrassing him. He wants to call her a doctor, but she assures him she’s fine. While making his exit, he gives Betsy a package he found on her doorstep. She opens it after he leaves and finds WeightAway has now sent her special glasses. She puts them on and is horrified to find an apple, banana, and pear on the kitchen table have become sentient beings. They beg her not to eat them.

Act III Edit

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“PLEASE DON’T EAT US!”

The fruits take on unique personalities — the pear acts like a southern belle, the banana puts on a tough guy attitude, and the apple acts as the intelligent one. They talk Betsy into not eating them, ensuring her it actually hurts to be eaten. She passes out at her kitchen table, with the fruits humming lullabies to her. The next morning, she wakes up hungry, frightening her new friends. She insists she won‘t eat them, but then goes to the fridge to find a jello and a cake have also taken on life forms. The intimidate her into not eating them as well, with the cake telling her “I got something you don’t want....indigestion for days”. She gets a call from Elmo, who’s insistent on another date. He suggests dinner at her place and requests apple pie (which causes the apple to shake).

Later on, the pear talks with a starving Betsy. She ponders what life would be like getting old, but also reasons that it would make sense to be eaten while still fresh and delicious. Betsy starts giving in and prepares to eat the pear, but relents. Elmo knocks on the door, commenting that he’s so hungry he could eat a horse. Betsy refuses to open the door, so he crosses the street and calls her from a payphone — she disconnects it on the fruits’ orders.

Sensing their inevitable doom, the fruits briefly turn on each other before trying to knock sense into Betsy. It doesn’t work, as she calls them all gimmicks. She attempts to remove the WeightAway products; however, she’s horrified to find out they won’t come off. Furious and starving, she grabs the banana and gets ready to peel him. He and his fruits start to panic and cry out, causing Betsy once again to back down from eating. Finally reaching her breaking point, she grabs a sewing needle and promises the fruits this will never happen again.

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Two months later, Elmo and Betsy’s landlady gather at the apartment; Betsy Is two months behind on rent and Elmo hasn’t been able to contact her. They let themselves in and scream out when they see a dead Betsy at the kitchen table next to three rotten fruits. Her mouth is sewn shut.

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